Why Does Others' Success Bother Us? And Why It's Great!
Maybe right now, there's a woman in your field who's started working, has nowhere near your experience or education, yet she's more successful than you? Ouch, that's a low blow. And worse, it's someone you really don't like—maybe the neighbor next door who never seemed nice to you. And why is this a gift for us? Because if it were some distant celebrity or a big company, it wouldn't affect us. But when it's that annoying person next door, it's like a kick in the pants, forcing us to change something.
Imagine sitting at home, scrolling through social media, and suddenly seeing an acquaintance receiving a prestigious award. How?! You think it's unfair. But why does it bother us so much? Let's be honest, when we see others' success, it mirrors our own insecurities. We start thinking about what we could have done differently or what we're lacking. It's like an unpleasant look in the mirror, showing us everything we want to change. It reminds you that you still haven't improved that presentation you promised yourself to finish a month ago or that the project you've been thinking about could have already been underway.
Women love to compare themselves. When we see another woman succeeding, we tend to feel inferior. It's like watching a friend look amazing in a new dress while you feel you need to lose weight. Suddenly, all that chocolate you ate last week seems like a bad idea. Our ego also plays a big role. When we see someone else achieving something we thought we should achieve, we feel threatened. It's like someone stealing your dream job right from under your nose. And you know you could have done the job better.
Do you know that feeling when someone you can't stand suddenly starts excelling? It's infuriating. Imagine your childhood friend, with whom you lost touch, suddenly getting a promotion and landing on a magazine cover. And you just stare and think, "How is this possible?" It reminds you that you haven't even started your project yet. On the other hand, when we see a celebrity succeed, we don't feel as threatened. It's just a different world. When Rihanna sells a million albums, you think, "Good for her," but when your former classmate becomes CEO, you feel like the world is unfair.
You might wonder how this frustration can be a gift. But trust me, it can be. This negative feeling can be a powerful motivator. When another woman's success irritates you, use it to work harder and focus on your own goals. Instead of sitting and eating another bar of chocolate, you can start exercising, working on your project, or improving in something you love.
Others' success gives us a chance for self-reflection. You can think about what you can improve and how to move forward. Maybe you realize that you've neglected something important, and it's time to change that. It's like a kick in the pants that forces you to take action. Instead of just sitting and complaining, you can start doing something. Maybe sign up for a new course or start working on your own project. Because every success of someone else is a reminder that you can do it too.
So, here are a few practical tips on how to deal with these feelings. The first step is to admit that you feel envy or frustration. It's normal and human. Nobody is perfect. We all have days when we'd rather punch someone. Instead of focusing on others' success, focus on your own goals and achievements. What can you do to improve? What do you enjoy, and how can you take it to the next level?
Instead of envying, learn from successful people. What do they do differently? What strategies do they use? You can learn from them and apply it to your own life. Turn negative feelings into positive energy. Use that irritation as motivation to achieve your own success. You don't want to be left behind, do you? Use this opportunity as a chance to become a better version of yourself.
Others' success can be a thorn in our side, but it can also be a powerful motivator. When we feel irritated by someone else's success, it's an opportunity for self-reflection and growth. Instead of envying, let's learn from successful people and turn our negative feelings into the driving force that propels us towards our own goals. Remember, every success that irritates us is a gift that can push us forward.
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Autor: Sylvie Bennett
Road Cafe Pardubice
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