Who is your biggest enemy? What if it’s you?

Have you ever found yourself thinking that you're not good enough, that you can't do something, or that you'll never succeed? It might happen more often than you'd like. And do you know who's behind all of this? You! Yes, sometimes we are our own biggest enemy. Why do we constantly doubt ourselves, and how can we stop?

Are You Your Own Enemy? Find Out!

Do you often think, "I'm not good enough"?

Do you feel like you'll never achieve what you want?

Are you afraid of failure, so you don't even start?

If you answered yes to these questions, then this article is just for you.

Why Do We Doubt Ourselves?

Often, we are harder on ourselves than anyone else. From a young age, we are influenced by what our parents, teachers, and other authorities tell us. We often hear that we are not good enough or that we should do things differently. These voices often become our own inner critic. Maybe you've heard phrases like "You can't do this" or "You should be better," and over time, you began to believe these voices.

Each of us has a little voice inside that tells us we can't do something, that we're not good enough, or that we'll fail. This voice can be very loud and can hinder us from achieving our goals. This inner critic is like a constant companion reminding us of our shortcomings and mistakes. Sometimes, we can't silence it.

The fear of failure is often so strong that it can hold us back. We fear that if we fail, we will be criticized or judged by others. This fear often paralyzes us and prevents us from trying new things. You might think, "What if I can't do it?" or "What if they judge me?" This fear often leads us to not even start.

What Impact Does This Have on Our Lives?

We Feel Inferior and Incapable

Constantly doubting our abilities lowers our self-esteem. We start to believe that we are not capable of achieving great things, which holds us back. Often, we hear in our heads something like, "I'm not good enough" or "I'll never succeed." These thoughts prevent us from fully utilizing our potential. And that's a real shame. Can you imagine what your life would be like without these thoughts?

We Tend to Procrastinate and Postpone Important Things

When we doubt ourselves, we often delay important tasks and avoid challenges. As a result, we don't use our full potential and don't achieve our goals. We might say, "I'll do it tomorrow" or "I'm not ready for this." But by doing so, we only move further away from fulfilling our dreams and goals.

Doubts Also Affect Our Relationships

Our doubts can significantly impact our relationships with others. When we lack healthy self-confidence, it can lead to misunderstandings and many conflicts. We may feel inferior, which can affect how others perceive us. We might constantly compare ourselves to others or feel that we are not good enough for our friends and family.

What Does It Look Like in Practice?

Work Opportunity: Tereza was offered a promotion at work but turned it down because she thought she didn't have the necessary skills. A few months later, she saw someone else with less experience but more confidence take the position and handle it successfully. Now she thinks, "If only I had more self-confidence, that could have been me. I'm much more suited for this position."

Tereza came to me feeling like she was literally ruining her own life. She knew she was a highly capable woman, but the voice in her head kept dragging her down, and she couldn't overcome it. In our coaching sessions, we started focusing on boosting her self-confidence and silencing the inner critic that was holding her back.

How Did It Progress? Tereza quit her job and started her own business. She realized she was capable of much more than working on someone else's dreams and began working on her own. Today, she owns a very successful business and is content.

How to Start Working on This Right Now?

Begin each day with positive affirmations. Say things like "I am capable and strong" or "I can do this." Over time, this will help replace negative thoughts with encouraging ones. It may seem small, but positive thinking has a huge impact on our self-confidence.

Set small, achievable goals and work towards accomplishing them. Each goal you achieve will help build your self-confidence and belief in yourself. Celebrate your successes, even the small ones. Every step forward is important.

Failure is a natural part of growth. Instead of seeing failure as a proof of your inability, view it as an opportunity to learn and grow. Every failure brings you closer to success. You might think, "I failed," but in reality, you learned something and are one step closer to achieving your goal.

The first step is to admit that you feel doubt and uncertainty. This is normal and human. No one is perfect, and everyone has days when they doubt themselves. Allow yourself to feel and accept your emotions. Try to focus on the source of your doubt—where did it come from.

Remember, it took several years to build up all these doubts within yourself, and they won't disappear overnight. But by working on them consistently, you can rewrite these doubts into encouraging and kind thoughts. Be kind to yourself—treat yourself with the same kindness and encouragement as you would if you were talking to your best friend.

Do you feel like you need to boost your self-confidence?

I have great news for you. In the 7-day online course "Gain Healthy Self-Confidence in 7 Days", I will guide you through the topic of self-confidence. I will teach you techniques you can use daily and show you how to view things from a different perspective. You can find more information about the course here.

Autor: Sylvie Bennett

life coach