My First Experience with Kundalini Activation Process (KAP): A Journey of Emotions, Healing, and Self-Discovery

My biggest fear? "It definitely won't work for me. What if nothing happens?" All these fears were completely unnecessary. It was an experience full of emotions – from pain, anger, and regret to release, relief, and inner peace.

To start, I'd like to say that a person can sense whether they're ready for such an experience. Just the fact that you're considering it is a huge step toward understanding KAP. Everyone experiences KAP differently – for some, it's a deeply internal journey without physical manifestations, while for others, it's both highly emotional and physical.

Today, I'll share how I experienced it – what happened within me and everything that opened up.

For several days, I felt a lot of nervousness because you never know what to expect or what might open up during the activation process. But for quite some time, I had felt it calling me. On social media, I kept coming across videos from various group activations where people experienced intense emotional pain, often accompanied by prominent physical manifestations.

Watching those videos immediately triggered strong emotions in me – painful emotions. That led me to think: I want to experience this too. I wanted to release all the pain I was carrying inside.

After a few weeks of hesitation, I decided to go for it. It was a new experience for me – and I love new things. Plus, I'm passionate about working with energy, so it made perfect sense. And now, I can say that I completely understand why it was calling me and why I was meant to be there.

A very pleasant facilitator, Irena, introduced us to the topic, explained what to expect, and what happens during the activation. Other participants who had already experienced it shared their stories with us as well. Hearing real experiences from real people was incredibly valuable. All of this created a space and atmosphere of immense safety.

There were about 15 women in the room, which initially made me feel a bit uncomfortable. But Irena managed to transform that discomfort into something very welcoming and uplifting.

We started with breathing exercises – deep breaths in through the nose and out through the mouth. This was followed by rapid, intense breathing, which alone induced a fairly "high" state. Then the music began, alternating between soft, gentle tones and dynamic rhythms.

I lay on the yoga mat like a plank, and for the first few minutes, nothing happened. But the music, with its strong emotional undertones, soon began to evoke suppressed emotions in me – primarily pain that was desperate to be released. For a few seconds, I tried to resist, but then I realized that this was exactly what was supposed to happen, that this was the intended state.

I surrendered to it. Tears started streaming down my face, and slight physical reactions followed – uncontrollable twitches and jerking movements. A surge of emotions, images, colors, and vibrations – I had never experienced anything like it before.

Occasionally, I felt the touch of our facilitator, who seemed to intuitively know who needed her presence. Whether it was to reassure us that everything was okay or to help us release even more, she was there.

At first, blocks emerged – ones I had long known I was carrying inside me. As I fully experienced and, I'd even say, shook them out of my body and soul, something much more interesting began to surface – things I hadn't even known were within me.

Suddenly, I found myself in a deeply unpleasant feeling. I felt a strong energy within me that was uncomfortable. In my mind, I was shouting: "I don't want this! Leave me alone! Don't touch me!" I must say, it felt like an emotional "assault" that I couldn't stop. It lasted only a few minutes, but it felt like an hour to me.

After this intense experience, I began to perceive myself as an onion, peeling off layer after layer, removing the traces and imprints of people who had left their energy within me. Each layer appeared as a person stuck to me, one I needed to peel off. It was fascinating, painful, and at the same time, relieving – with each layer removed, I felt lighter.

Eventually, there was just me, standing without layers. I saw myself as a white, radiant being, naked but wrapped in white satin. I heard her say: "Welcome back to yourself."

Wow. I looked at her and thought: "Is this me?" It was a beautiful, pure moment. I was overwhelmed by a feeling of immense love and understanding. For a moment, I thought: "Maybe that's it, it's all done." But I was very wrong. With the next song, more experiences came – images, body movements.

Suddenly, a little girl appeared before me. I looked at her and thought: "Is this me? No, it's not." I asked her: "Little girl, who are you?" And the answer came: "I'm your unborn child."

At that moment, tears began streaming down my face faster than a river during a flood. We exchanged a few words, hugged, and forgave each other. Wow – such a heavy but deeply liberating experience.

This was followed by a feeling of peace and relief, which brought me back to the vision of myself in white satin. She spoke to me again. I remember her saying: "Everything you experienced here today has brought you back to your true essence, to who you really are. Stop hiding behind layers that are no longer there. Remember: 'You have a pure heart, never lose that.'"

Wait, what? A sentence from my English-speaking ex in the middle of this experience? That felt like another layer. I responded: "I know I have a pure heart, but if so, why can't I share it with anyone else? Why do I keep it hidden and safe?"

Emotions, pain, images, sounds, an internal firework of feelings. A fascinating experience. I received several answers, but the most important one was:

"YOU NEED TO FORGIVE YOURSELF. YOU'RE HURTING YOURSELF OVER AND OVER AGAIN."

I made two promises to myself then and there: to remember my white, radiant essence and my pure heart every day, to begin nurturing and strengthening it. And above all, to never do anything that hurts me or goes against my mental or physical well-being.

I'd say these were incredibly powerful experiences for my first activation, and I'm already looking forward to the next one. I'm booking a new session as we speak and can't wait to see what it brings.