How to Manage Emotions: A Guide for Those Who Want Nerves of Steel
We all know what it's like to be overwhelmed by a surge of emotions. And I'm not just talking about the pleasant ones like joy or excitement. No, no, my friends. I'm talking about the less pleasant ones, like anger and frustration. We've all been there—caught up in a wave of emotions, we've done or said something we later regretted. Today, we'll focus on how to handle these less pleasant emotions to cause as little damage as possible. Get ready, because together we'll minimize emotional landmines! Let's explore the techniques that can help us manage these stormy moments.
1. Keep an "Emotions Journal"
Yes, you heard that right, friends. Grab your nicest pen and get a journal. We often forget what triggers certain emotions, so this journal is a useful tool. It will serve as your personal radar for emotional storms. You can write down not only what made you angry or sad but also how you reacted and how you'd like to react next time. The journal will help with self-reflection and awareness of your emotional triggers.
An emotions journal is a great tool to help you better understand your feelings. By regularly noting what upset you throughout the day, you can start to notice patterns. For example, you might realize that you always get frustrated when someone is late for a meeting or that you feel anxious before a big presentation. Such self-reflection is crucial for working on your reactions and finding ways to handle these situations better.
Journal Tip: Try to set a regular time to write down your feelings. Perhaps every evening before bed, when it's quiet and you have time to reflect on the day. You can also note how you'd like to react in the future, which can help you prepare for similar situations.
2. Give Yourself Time to Process Emotions - Don't React Immediately
Yes, I know you might want to fire off that barrage of text messages right away, but hold your horses! In text communication, try writing what you want to say in your notes app first (so you're not tempted to hit "send") and let it sit for about 20 minutes. Then read it again. 90% of the time, you won't want to send it once your emotions have cooled down. Often, you'll revise the text; let it sit again for another 20-60 minutes and read it once more. Sometimes this process can take several hours. In this case, the later your response, the better. Emotions will subside, and you can respond with a clearer mind.
In personal interactions, ask for time to process your emotions and respect when someone else needs time from you. Remember, patience brings roses—and sometimes a peaceful resolution to conflicts.
Reacting in the heat of the moment often leads to saying or doing something you'll regret later. That's why it's important to give yourself time to process emotions. When something angers you, try to step back and let the emotions settle. If possible, avoid responding immediately to messages or emails that upset you. Take a break, go for a walk, or focus on something else for a while.
Tip for Processing Emotions: In text communication, try writing your response in the notes app first and let it sit for about 20 minutes. Then read it again and consider if it's really what you want to send. In personal interactions, try asking for time to process your emotions. You can say something like, "I need a moment to think about this, can we come back to it later?" Also, respect when someone else needs time away from you.
3. EMPATHY - Try to Put Yourself in the Other Person's Shoes
Now, let's put on our imaginary empathy glasses and try to understand why the other person is behaving the way they are. Maybe they're having a bad day, or they just couldn't find their favorite coffee mug. Trying to understand others is key to managing your own emotions. After all, who among us doesn't want to be a better version of themselves?
Empathy is the ability to step into the feelings and perspective of another person. When you try to understand why someone is acting a certain way, it can help you better manage your own reactions. Instead of getting angry right away, try to think about what might be causing the other person's behavior. Maybe they have problems at home, or they're under a lot of pressure at work.
Tip for Empathy: Try to imagine yourself in the other person's position. How would you feel in their situation? How would you want someone to treat you? Ask yourself what you would need if you were in their shoes. This way, you can better understand their behavior and find a way to handle the situation with calm and understanding.
4. COMMUNICATION - How to Effectively Communicate Your Feelings
And now the most important part—communication. How can you effectively communicate your feelings without blaming the other person? The key is to start your sentence with "I feel..." and describe what's going on inside you. This way, you express your feelings without unnecessarily attacking the other person. A few extra tips—try to be as specific as possible, stick to the facts, and be open to dialogue.
Effective communication is the foundation for healthy interpersonal relationships. When talking about your feelings, it's important to speak clearly and concisely without blaming the other person. Instead of saying, "You made me angry," try saying, "I feel angry when this happens." This way, you focus on your feelings and don't attack the other person, which can lead to a more open and constructive dialogue.
Tip for Communication: When talking about your feelings, speak clearly and concisely. Avoid blaming and focus on how you feel and what you want. Use sentences that start with "I feel..." to make it clear that you're talking about your own feelings. Be specific and stick to the facts, which will help you better express your feelings and needs.
Managing emotions effectively is a skill that takes practice and patience. By keeping an emotions journal, giving yourself time to process your feelings, practicing empathy, and communicating effectively, you can develop a stronger emotional resilience and handle challenging situations with more grace and composure.
Remember, the journey to emotional mastery is a continuous one. Each step you take towards understanding and managing your emotions better will lead to a more fulfilling and balanced life. So, next time you feel those emotions bubbling up, take a deep breath, reflect, and choose the path of calm and understanding.
By implementing these strategies, you'll not only improve your relationships with others but also foster a healthier relationship with yourself. Because at the end of the day, having nerves of steel isn't about suppressing your emotions—it's about embracing them and navigating them with wisdom and empathy.
Start today, and watch how these small changes can lead to a more peaceful and empowered you.
Want to learn how to keep your emotions under control?
Book an individual coaching session where I will help you navigate your own feelings and together we will find an effective way for you to manage your emotions with calm and composure. Find more information about coaching here.
Autor: Sylvie Bennett