Hidden Sexual Desires: Let Go of Prejudices and Discover Your True Passion
Sexuality is a natural part of human life and a source of pleasure and intimacy, often unfortunately suppressed in us women. From a young age, we are often taught that men have desires and sexual fantasies that go beyond our imagination, but we women are supposed to be restrained and suppress our desires and sexuality. A man can jump on a woman in a fit of lust and it's okay, but heaven forbid if a woman did the same—she would be labeled as some sort of slut. A woman is supposed to wait and be sophisticated, right? What nonsense! Let's debunk this myth about female sexuality.
Even though we live in the 21st century, there is still, albeit less, a belief that men have the "right" to all desires and sexual appetites, but women do not. A man who has had numerous sexual partners is considered experienced, whereas a woman with far fewer sexual partners is labeled promiscuous rather than an experienced partner in a positive sense. Society and derogatory comments about women and our sexuality have forced us to pretend that sex doesn't concern us. Modern films like "Fifty Shades of Grey" don't convince us otherwise; they still set the pattern of a dominant man with endless experience and a woman (a virgin) who is at the mercy of when her master decides it's time for sex, obediently waiting on her knees in the red room, doing as she's told. A cliché.
Believe it or not, men—yes, perhaps even your partner—can have sexual desires you know nothing about. Men often feel ashamed of their sexual fantasies and fear their partner might see them as a pervert. And maybe a conversation about what both you and your partner are curious to try could be a key moment to break the ice. Sexuality, passion, and pleasure are completely natural parts of us women; sex is neither a duty nor just a means to procreate. Embracing our own sexuality fully is the best way to have a great relationship with intimate encounters, enjoy them, and not feel ashamed that we like it. There is no better sex than when we can feel like ourselves and fully surrender to the experience. However, I consider it crucial to first understand our relationship with sexuality and intimacy. So, let's start by looking at some questions to answer before diving deeper into the topic.
Try to Answer These Questions for Yourself:
- What does having sex with someone mean to me?
- Who can I have sex with? Does it have to be only within a relationship, or can I have casual sex?
- How would I describe myself as a sexual partner?
- How do media and society influence my relationship with sex? Do I feel pressured in my sexual expression?
- Do I fulfill my sexual desires, or do I hide them from myself and others?
Why Are These Questions Important?
Each of us has a different perspective on the matter, and each of us has different desires. What I long for doesn't mean you long for it too. What is acceptable for others may not necessarily be acceptable for you. That's why it's important to clarify what our desires are. These desires are within each of us, sometimes buried deep down, and we don't want to let them surface. In the following lines, we'll focus specifically on how we can discover even our deepest desires.
How to Discover What You Like? Who You Are and Who You're Not, What's Acceptable for You and What's Not?
Here are some tips to discover your hidden desires. You don't have to try them all—just do what feels right for you.
Tips to Explore Your Desires:
Imagination: Try to imagine what your ideal sexual experience looks like. What do you want to experience, what do you like your partner to do, what excites you? What do you want to do to your partner? How would you like to tease or provoke your partner? Engage your imagination as much as possible and try to fully immerse yourself. Remember, this is only in your imagination, and there are no limits; besides, no one can see into your head, so don't hold back.
Experiment: If you're not sure what you like or how you'd like to experience it, seek inspiration. Yes, read a book or even watch porn (yes, women can watch porn too, and it's perfectly fine). You'll find millions of videos online with any style. Oil massages, gentle sex, rough sex, whips, handcuffs, dominatrixes, lesbians, public sex, and much more—there's probably nothing that hasn't already been written about or filmed. Just type your interest into the search engine.
Get Rid of Shame About Your Desires: Sometimes we know what our wishes are, what we'd like, but we're ashamed of what our partner might think if we shared these desires. We don't want to appear as a promiscuous woman who could thoroughly enjoy sex. Forget about this! From experience and many studies, men like to experiment; however, if you don't yet feel comfortable sharing your sexual fantasies, try bringing up the topic of experimenting in sex and ask your partner about their tastes and fantasies. You might find you have similar ones, making it easier to talk about.
Don't Wait, Take Action: If you're not one of those women who can easily initiate sexual play, try it. It will boost your confidence, your partner will surely be pleasantly surprised, and you can take the initiative and experiment. You can even lead the situation to where you want it to go.
By understanding and embracing your sexuality, you can experience greater intimacy and connection with your partner, leading to a more fulfilling and satisfying sexual relationship.
Tip: The important thing is to feel sexy and confident. Try putting on some sexy lingerie, a nightgown, or garters; even high heels or anything that boosts your sense of confidence and sensuality." This tip can be applied anytime, not just during intimate moments. Although many women might not think so, the lingerie we wear under our clothes during the workday significantly affects our confidence and how sexy we feel.
Autor: Sylvie Bennett